Ella Grace H.

Photography by Alejo Mejia-Tejada

If you’re reading this, your testimony is one of the most powerful weapons you can possess in your battle for your mind.

If you've ever struggled with your mental health, you know firsthand how easy it is to keep it to yourself. A lot of people who struggle with mental well-being have a fear of being judged, misunderstood, or manipulated. I thought this, too. I was tormented by an internal struggle of who would believe me, who would understand me, and who could actually help me.

My story begins during quarantine, where I underwent a stressful and borderline traumatic issue, which left me feeling the worst I've ever felt mentally and physically. This event triggered a significant bout of depression and anxiety, which I still feel the effects of today. As someone who is a naturally anxious person, the events that happened post-2020 caused this characteristic of mine to be magnified to a catastrophic amount.

Another factor in this story includes my faith in Jesus Christ. Within religious communities (although I've learned now that this is not, in fact, SO FAR from the truth), it is easy to isolate yourself for fear of retaliation when speaking about mental health issues. So, that is what I did after my struggles became clear to me. I stopped attending community events, I stopped reaching out to those I looked up to in my faith, and I stopped talking about what was truly going on inside of me. This led to even further isolation. I was so lost and helpless all because of notions I believed would happen if I had  told somebody - and in that way of thinking,  I was so very wrong.

I remember this day so clearly; one of my leaders within an organization called Young Life pulled me aside and just asked me the most simple question: "What is going on." I recall letting her know all that was on my heart and mind, and now I had (and still do have) a shoulder to cry on with her. From there, telling those I trusted fully about my emotional health changed the game entirely for me. I now have people who know me and fully understand me. Letting those who deserved to know what was happening immensely aided my recovery. Gaining support from  a community can add extra perspectives, accountability, and just a skeleton of a support system. In times when I felt as though I could trust no one, I relied on a therapist. We weren't meant to do life alone. I believed that God made us in community for a reason (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). This isn't a call to spill your guts to anyone, but seek those on campus who want to know and know you deeply. This could be your roommate, neighbor, club members, professors, friends, church or even me. Talk to them! Be their shoulder to cry on as well. I swear it'll change your life because it genuinely saved mine.

I did the ultimate sharing when I served at a Young Life camp. I talked through my testimony and struggle with mental health to over 200 high schoolers who were essentially strangers. If I can do it, you can!

The ultimate support system for me has been the backbone that is God. God gets us (Isaiah 41:10), and he will forever be my primary source of encouragement when I face the MANY different mountains in my journey (Psalm 46).

You are so loved and so worthy! I ask you to please never let your mind believe the lies that your struggles are invalid, that you are unworthy of love and help, and that you will forever be misunderstood.

"...This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it."
John 11:4

Ella Grace H, Clemson University

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