Anonymous

Photo by Megan Cunningham

If you’re reading this, you are capable of change.

You are not stagnant. Things will change, you will change, life will be different. 

It is very hard to think that tomorrow could be different when the past weeks and years have felt the same; like an endless cycle of depression, anxiety and low self esteem. After seven years of feeling stagnant, I am starting to see true positive change in myself. 

It began with accepting that change does not have to be drastic, it can be small. I promise it did not come easily. My progress has not been linear, but that does not mean I haven’t gotten better. It has taken a long time to face the fact that it may take many more years to reach where I want to be.

You have to start somewhere, and tiny changes are still change. 

Here are some of my tiny but huge achievements that I am very proud of:

• From being unable to go to the dining hall at all, to going twice a day! 

• From keeping my room really disorganized, to organizing it once a week! 

• When someone hurts my feelings, I am working on communicating how their words affected me. 

• From becoming frustrated with myself so easily, to reminding myself that I am human and I deserve respect. 

• I do laundry every other week and do not let my washed clothes sit there for various days anymore. 

• I do my best to follow a routine to keep up my basic hygiene. 

You have to be patient with yourself. My room still gets really, really messy and I still hurt my own feelings more often than not. I still panic and lose sleep over anxious thoughts. But still, it is less than it was before and I am proud of that. Often others are not as patient with you, so you have to be your own cheerleader. Only you know how hard it is to keep your room clean or to eat “healthy.” Only you know how much energy it took to attend class or focus on doing homework.  

Do your best to encourage yourself! You are so much stronger than you think and you have more power over your mind than you know. Be proud of yourself for every small achievement! You did laundry! You showered! You spoke to yourself kindly! You brushed your hair! … Amazing job! I am very proud of you. 

I promise that these things were really hard for me, but it is becoming easier. Change is a very hard thing. It can be hard to get frustrated with yourself when it feels like not much is changing. When I revert back to past actions, I still feel very disappointed in myself. It is hard not to.

I just do my best to remember that I am trying, and trying in itself is something to be proud of. It takes a lot of strength to try. I am aware that I can be better, that I can do better, and this awareness keeps me going. 

If you’re reading this,

Life can be different. You Can Make It Different. 

Anonymous, Boston College