Aster O.
Photography by Alejo Mejia-Tejada
If you're reading this, embrace yourself and find your community.
When I came to Clemson as a first-year, I had recently been forced to come out to my parents. I felt lost and confused because this was a part of myself I had not planned to share, not then, not ever. I didn't think there was a place for me to be my authentic self, and I certainly didn't think I would find it during college. If you told me four years ago that in college, I would be out and proud and a student leader in LGBTQ+ organizations, I would say you have the wrong person. But life has a funny way of taking your "not evers" and making them your "nows.”
Embracing who you are takes work. This goes for more than just social identities. It means looking at and appreciating your whole self, even those things you might not like at the moment. It doesn't mean you see yourself in only rainbows and unicorns, but you recognize that it's part of what makes you unique.
Among the things I'm learning to accept about myself are my struggles with mental health. Being diagnosed with ADHD and depression and experiencing gender dysphoria, my mind is constantly telling me I'm wrong. Some days, I feel like what I see doesn't line up with what I imagine in my mind. That disconnect can make it hard to embrace who I am; it makes me want to shrink and hide away.
I would like to share a fast and straightforward guide to accepting whatever you struggle with. But it doesn't exist. Life would be much simpler if it did. Embracing who you are is an ongoing process. It takes waking up and choosing to be who you are despite the voices in your mind telling you not to.
Something I can share that has helped me embrace who I am is finding ways to be in a community with others with similar experiences. College has offered me the space to find people who are at different places in their self-acceptance journey. I've found people with the same chronic pain who have taught me to accept how life has changed since developing it. I've met trans people who have experience coming out and navigating conversations I'm just starting to navigate now. I've found that having that community around you can help because it is easier to accept who you are when you see others working on accepting themselves as well.
I still struggle. Just like with healing, accepting yourself is not a linear process. And that's okay. On those days, remember to be kind to yourself, take a breath and return to your center and who you are.
If you're reading this, embracing who you are is hard— but it's so worth it.
Aster O., Clemson University
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