Arnav R.
Photography by Aneesa Wermers
If you’re reading this, know that trying therapy doesn’t mean you’re weak or you’re crazy.
Trying therapy means you’re smart because you’re trying to better yourself by creating time to work on your mental and emotional health.
In life and in college, we all have an innate desire to become our best self. In trying to become that best version of our self, we know we have resources that can help us.
If we’re struggling with a concept from class, we can go to a Professor’s office hours or we can look for a tutor. If we have a physical ailment or are sick, we can go to a doctor or nurse to get treatment.
But for some reason, when it comes to our mental health, there’s a hesitancy among many people to seek out resources.
If we’re having a tough time mentally, what’s often our thought process? It’s not that bad, I got this.
Therapy? Nah, I’m good. I’ll figure it out. I’m not crazy, I don’t need therapy.
Funny isn’t it? With physical ailments, we’re so quick to go to a professional. But with mental ones, we don’t want to seek a professional. Yet they’re both part of our body and both affect us.
If you’re reading this and you also think therapy is for crazy for people, no judgment. I used to think this way too. I used to think therapy was only for people with major mental disorders.
The reality is though, therapy can be valuable for anyone. Just like you have tools/resources to help with your academics, you can use therapy as a tool/resource for your mental and emotional well-being.
For many men, speaking about our feelings is seen as soft or as weird. We just don’t want to do it. When talking with friends, we stay within the superficial topics of life – how are classes, what events are coming up on campus, when are we free to play video games or go the Plex, or what’s going on with the NFL or NBA, etc. We never create the space or answer deeper questions like, “How are you doing overall mental health wise?”
In fact, as men, we sometimes to do the exact opposite behavior of seeking help – we brush over a trauma or minimize the effect of a tough time.
When going through a tough time, we may say very little because we don’t want others to feel like the tough time is affecting us.
I remember one of my friends going through a breakup. Two weeks later, he went out and acted like he was ready to hook up with other girls just to make all of us think the breakup didn’t hurt him and he had moved on.
What we don’t realize is everything – the good, the bad, all of it affects us.
Not talking about a tough time or a trauma doesn’t make you tough or doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect you. It just means what it says – you didn’t talk about it.
Whether you want to admit it or not, tough times and traumas affect us all. For me, having been on both sides, not going to therapy and going to therapy, therapy is a lot better.
Being able to have a space to talk and process with a mental health professional can be very helpful. The mental health professional can provide insight on why you have certain insecurities based on your past or perspective/strategies for getting through a tough time.
All this is to say - if you want to be your best self, realize your mental health is a part of the equation. If you make time for your physical health through things like exercise, you should make time for your mental health as well.
You are not crazy to try out therapy. You are smart –your mental and emotional well-being at its best will most likely lead to other great benefits like being at your best academically, socially, and in extracurriculars.
What’s actually crazy is to be struggling mentally and to not do anything about it to try and work on making the situation better. Not working on your mental and emotional well-being will have tangible negative effects on your life.
About Me: My name is Arnav Roy, I’m a BC ’17 graduate. As I look back on my life, one regret I have is not starting therapy sooner. If I could back to my time at BC, I would definitely have made the change to start then and I encourage all BC students reading this to give it a try.
If you are someone who wants to support the mental health cause, I would love for you to take a look at a podcast I started called Grateful Living.
I’m always looking to share stories of mental health.
Feel free to reach out if you want to share your story!
Arnav R., Boston College
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